I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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