Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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