I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
