Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
