He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
