Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
