I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
