My first STD was from a foam party
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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