Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
