He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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