He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
