I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
