I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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