During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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