Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

tell your sister to shave her snatch

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(813): View more from Florida

I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

(1-813): View more from Florida

What is a male extremity?

(813): View more from Florida

i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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(317): View more from Indiana

just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night

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(515): View more from Iowa

We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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(925): View more from California

I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic

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