I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm