My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.