Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit