i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When did we convert life to cartoon?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
my poor anus
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila