Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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