I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.