I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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