Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
