I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
