porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
