if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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