I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
