Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize