is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Panties = found
Randomize