I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
