Buhtt sex?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
