thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sex in a hospital.. check
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
