Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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