I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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