thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
