do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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