I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize