You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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