if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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