Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize