I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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