Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
