yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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