If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
