Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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