The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
