Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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