Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
