Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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