if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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