he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize