I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
