You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
