The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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