I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
