It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
