Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
