8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
