wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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