perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
