you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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